"Battle of the
Finalists" - October 10
The votes continue
to come in for Keiths, Dannys, and Lauries, but now it's
time to reveal the two people who will battle it out for
the role of Shirley. Last time, it was whittled to
Krissy Todd, Mary Kay Twargowski, and Suzanne Sole. But
before we get to THAT result, here are the finalists
Keith: David Petruzzi and Leland Grant
Laurie: Alexis Mero and Emily Stone
Danny: Spencer Tuskowski and Keaton Savage
And is it me or is "Thus
Spoke Zarathustra" a bit too serious for this? I mean,
it's only the BATTLE OF THE FINALISTS! And hey, it's a
big egg! Wonder what the heck's in it... Oh, it's just
Danny Bonnaduce. Credits!
And here's Todd with
news that the phone list will be open during the show.
Remember, only five votes for each player. No dialers
please. We have addresses, folks. We know where you
David relives his
adolescence as Keith one more time before revealing the
finalists for his successor, David who never had
straight hair before, and Leland who found this process
to be one ugly mother... in more ways than one. David is
up first as he sings "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates. He was
a bit winded last time, and unfortunately he only got a
tad much better between the first show and now. And
trills... not helping.
Leland, who played poker
in boot camp (great, so now we have a favorite) is next
up with "Bad Case Of Loving You". He is himself,
definitely more of a showman than David, but pretty
level pegging in just voice. I blame song choices.
Now it's time for the
Lauries to shine. Once again, Susan Dey doesn't accept
her destiny, so we won't be hearing from her. First up,
Emily. Piece of cake? Far from it. Case in point: the
mic episode. Well, we won't have that tonight as Emily
sings "Lovefool" by the Cardigans... kicked up a few
notches. This is one of those times that just isn't
supposed to work... but strangely does. I mean, I've
heard better singers and the arrangement sucks eggs, but
Emily makes it work. One of those things that just
boggles the mind...
Anyway, we're onto
Alexis, who also had an... episode with the acting
round. She gets "So Emotional". She sings it better than
Emily, but she's just... standing there! Come on. This
is high energy... That's more like it. But then she gets
too energetic. The middle was flatter than it had to be.
And now, we go to the
kid who, according to Todd, "puts the F-U in the middle
of funny." Then it would be unfuy.... or something.
Anywho, Danny reluctantly gives the stage over to his
two apprentices, Alex and Keaton. Who's more of a man
inside a boy's body? First up, it's Keaton. You
remember, "Is it HOT in here?" His song, "All-Star" by
Smash Mouth. Dead on... for a kid.
Then comes student body
president Spencer Tuskowski, who believes he's this
close. Right now, he's this close to death singing
"Mambo #5". It took me a while to realize what key he
was singing in. It shouldn't take that long. Keaton...
you have this. You HAVE this...
But now it's the moment
you've been waiting for since... well, last week. For
one of the Shirleys, it's back on the bus. Will it be
Mary Kay? Will it be Krissy? Will it be Suzanne? Will it
be Shirley? Wait.. it can't be Shirley.. Anywho... the
audience has spoken... and it's game over for Krissy. So
unlike the original PF, there will be no awkward
mother-son moments in this series. But don't relish in
victory yet, because there's one more battle to be
fought. And at stake, a role as the woman's woman...
First up, Mary Kay, who
likes Tabasco. She sings "Oops! I Did It Again". Insert
joke here. Very pitchy on various points. I blame the
arrangement. It gave her NOTHING to work from. NOTHING.
She took the stage like a pro, though.
And finally, we have
Suzanne, who can allegedly tap dance and hula hoop at
the same time. Her advice: "Find your own beat." My
advice: "Make sure it matches the beat in the
background." She's "Walking on Sunshine"... and so am I.
Finally, someone manages to get it all right. Must be
that finding your own beat. My only beef... Taking the
stage like a cruise line performer. Trust me, not a
Okay, that's it. It's up
to America now to cast the final votes. As I type this,
the finale is airing... Without looking, my predictions:
Keith: Who should win:
Leland. Who WILL win: Leland.
Laurie: Who should win: Emily. Who WILL win: Emily.
Danny: Who should win: Keaton. Who WILL win: Keaton.
Shirley: Who should win: Suzanne. Who WILL win: Suzanne.
But that's only my
humble opinion. Who did America choose after months of
auditions, weeks of training, and literally (Gordongram:
Minutes!) WEEKS if intense practice? We'll find out in a
moment, but first, courtesy of Danny, here's a bit of a
preview of the new "Partridge Family" series, set to
drop this November.
"The original "Partridge
Family" was one of the most successful sitcoms of all
time. We'll be reinventing these classic roles, bringing
them into 2004. This irreverent new sitcom from the
executive producers of "The Simpsons" presents a
modern-day family who rocks together, laughs together,
and, above all, sticks together. Keith is the hot
good-looking smooth operator. Danny seems like a
50-year-old man trapped in the body of a 12-year-old
boy. Laurie is America's fun-loving, sassy sweetheart.
And of course, Shirley Partridge has to juggle her rock
'n' roll wild side with her responsibilities as a
mother. Big shoes to fill for the new Partridges, but
your votes will decide who takes over these legendary
That's the series... and
you will set one cast to rule above them all on the