Keith: David Petruzzi and Leland Grant
Laurie: Alexis Mero and Emily Stone
Danny: Spencer Tuskowski and Keaton Savage

And is it me or is "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" a bit too serious for this? I mean, it's only the BATTLE OF THE FINALISTS! And hey, it's a big egg! Wonder what the heck's in it... Oh, it's just Danny Bonnaduce. Credits!

And here's Todd with news that the phone list will be open during the show. Remember, only five votes for each player. No dialers please. We have addresses, folks. We know where you live.

David relives his adolescence as Keith one more time before revealing the finalists for his successor, David who never had straight hair before, and Leland who found this process to be one ugly mother... in more ways than one. David is up first as he sings "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oates. He was a bit winded last time, and unfortunately he only got a tad much better between the first show and now. And trills... not helping.

Leland, who played poker in boot camp (great, so now we have a favorite) is next up with "Bad Case Of Loving You". He is himself, definitely more of a showman than David, but pretty level pegging in just voice. I blame song choices.

Now it's time for the Lauries to shine. Once again, Susan Dey doesn't accept her destiny, so we won't be hearing from her. First up, Emily. Piece of cake? Far from it. Case in point: the mic episode. Well, we won't have that tonight as Emily sings "Lovefool" by the Cardigans... kicked up a few notches. This is one of those times that just isn't supposed to work... but strangely does. I mean, I've heard better singers and the arrangement sucks eggs, but Emily makes it work. One of those things that just boggles the mind...

Anyway, we're onto Alexis, who also had an... episode with the acting round. She gets "So Emotional". She sings it better than Emily, but she's just... standing there! Come on. This is high energy... That's more like it. But then she gets too energetic. The middle was flatter than it had to be. 

And now, we go to the kid who, according to Todd, "puts the F-U in the middle of funny." Then it would be unfuy.... or something. Anywho, Danny reluctantly gives the stage over to his two apprentices, Alex and Keaton. Who's more of a man inside a boy's body? First up, it's Keaton. You remember, "Is it HOT in here?" His song, "All-Star" by Smash Mouth. Dead on... for a kid.

Then comes student body president Spencer Tuskowski, who believes he's this close. Right now, he's this close to death singing "Mambo #5". It took me a while to realize what key he was singing in. It shouldn't take that long. Keaton... you have this. You HAVE this...

But now it's the moment you've been waiting for since... well, last week. For one of the Shirleys, it's back on the bus. Will it be Mary Kay? Will it be Krissy? Will it be Suzanne? Will it be Shirley? Wait.. it can't be Shirley.. Anywho... the audience has spoken... and it's game over for Krissy. So unlike the original PF, there will be no awkward mother-son moments in this series. But don't relish in victory yet, because there's one more battle to be fought. And at stake, a role as the woman's woman...

First up, Mary Kay, who likes Tabasco. She sings "Oops! I Did It Again". Insert joke here. Very pitchy on various points. I blame the arrangement. It gave her NOTHING to work from. NOTHING. She took the stage like a pro, though.

And finally, we have Suzanne, who can allegedly tap dance and hula hoop at the same time. Her advice: "Find your own beat." My advice: "Make sure it matches the beat in the background." She's "Walking on Sunshine"... and so am I. Finally, someone manages to get it all right. Must be that finding your own beat. My only beef... Taking the stage like a cruise line performer. Trust me, not a pretty sight.

Okay, that's it. It's up to America now to cast the final votes. As I type this, the finale is airing... Without looking, my predictions:

Keith: Who should win: Leland. Who WILL win: Leland.
Laurie: Who should win: Emily. Who WILL win: Emily.
Danny: Who should win: Keaton. Who WILL win: Keaton.
Shirley: Who should win: Suzanne. Who WILL win: Suzanne.

But that's only my humble opinion. Who did America choose after months of auditions, weeks of training, and literally (Gordongram: Minutes!) WEEKS if intense practice? We'll find out in a moment, but first, courtesy of Danny, here's a bit of a preview of the new "Partridge Family" series, set to drop this November.

"The original "Partridge Family" was one of the most successful sitcoms of all time. We'll be reinventing these classic roles, bringing them into 2004. This irreverent new sitcom from the executive producers of "The Simpsons" presents a modern-day family who rocks together, laughs together, and, above all, sticks together. Keith is the hot good-looking smooth operator. Danny seems like a 50-year-old man trapped in the body of a 12-year-old boy. Laurie is America's fun-loving, sassy sweetheart. And of course, Shirley Partridge has to juggle her rock 'n' roll wild side with her responsibilities as a mother. Big shoes to fill for the new Partridges, but your votes will decide who takes over these legendary roles."

That's the series... and you will set one cast to rule above them all on the next show...