Episode 2.4 - January
31
(C-Note: Thus spake the disclaimer...
"The competitions depicted on this program were
supervised by trained professionals. Do not attempt to imitate any of these
activities... Ever.")
"Distraction" is back in full effect, and Jimmy
is about to bring the hurt. "You might have noticed that I am English. You'd
think that this accent, these looks, and this job, I'd be a magnet for (^_^).
But I have a girlfriend. I bought her a book the other day, 'Women That Love Too
Much', which I think should be shortened to 'Sluts'."
...Let's meet the slu.. err, contestants!
- Who is interested in the tarot cards? It's
Brandon, who can kinda read the future.
- Who does a rooster impression? It's Kenneth. He demonstrates.
- Who can move their breasts one at a time? That's Arla, who
demonstrates... and in unison.
- That leaves Christine who is a world-renowned ventriloquist. And a damn
fine one at that.
Round 1: Rubber Faces. The players buzz in
while putting rubber bands on their face, between the forehead and chin, please. Questions about
90s bands this time. Who sang...
1) Smells Like Teen Spirit? Brandon: Nirvana.
Right.
2) Don't Speak? That's Brandon again.
"No Doubt." Right.
3) Tearing Up My Heart?
That's Brandon... "Backstreet Boys?" Nsync
4) Mr. Jones? Kenneth: "Counting Crows".
5) Gin and Juice. That's Kenneth again... "Snoop Dogg." Right!
6) Welcome to Paradise. Kenneth, again? "Green Day." Right!
7) MmmBop. Brandon? "Hanson." Got it.
8) Nothing But a G Thing. Kenneth? "Dr. Dre." Right. Now lower your bands or
else they will not count.
9) 3AM... Kenneth? "(inaudible)" No, it's Matchbox Twenty.
Quick look at the score, Kenneth has 4 to
Brandon's 3. But who had the most bands on their face? That's Brandon, with 70
on his face! Time for a tiebreaker. ...
10) Under the Bridge. That's Christine. "Red Hot
Chili Peppers."
So no more breast-moving for Arla as she is
shuttled out.
Round 2: Wrestlemania. Simple questions
gotten out of a sixth-grade text book. However, they'll be body-slammed six ways
from Sunday while answering them.
Brandon meets up with Curry-Man for 45 seconds.
He gets one, two, three, four, five questions right...
Christine meets up with Samoan Joe next...
Getting only one right.
Kenneth needs only two as he dances with Kazarian.
He gets his two and then some. Enough to move on. Alas, Christine is escorted to
the losers' bin to play with Arla...
Round 3: Quiz-Whizzard. Only
one player will have the chance at $10,000. That'll be decided on the
Distraction urinal buzzers... again. Questions here are on pissed off people. First to four wins
$10,000 in swag.
Let's play Distraction.
1) Name the raging Green Party candidate who ran
for President in 2000. Brandon says Nader. He leads, 1-0
2) Even though he's grotesquely fat, what filmmaker criticizes American excesses
in films like "Bowling for Columbine"? Brandon? "Michael Moore." He leads, 2-0
3) Name the character from "The Simpsons" that owns the bar that smells like
tinkle. Brandon? "Moe." Brandon leads, 3-0. Kenneth can't pee...
4) Which English king had six wives, four of whom he... Brandon to win? "Henry
VIII." Kenneth: "(^_^)!" Winner!
Just so we know, Kenneth's buzzer does indeed
work.
The Final Round: Wrecking Ball Breakers.
For getting this far, Brandon has won a Vespa scooter, a Sony Wega TV, and a
Sony Vaio computer. But will he get to keep them all in pristine
condition?
The conveyor belt will start moving once Jimmy
asks his question. If he gets it right before the prize meets the red X, then
it's safe. If not... well... Questions will be on the information from the last
half hour of game show.
First question for the computer.
1) Who wrote the romance novel, "Zabiba and the
King"? Saddam Hussein... Right.
Next question for the TV.
2) In Moby Dick, what was the name of Captain
Ahab's boat? Brandon doesn't know... Brandon's TV is crushed. Correct: "The
Piquad".
Finally, for the scooter.
3) Within 1, what is
pr² if r = 2?
"12.56." That's right! You've got a Vespa! And a computer.
Next week, more souls with pride on the line...
or no pride at all, we don't know. Good
night.
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